This handbook is every Pinoy soon-to-wed’s guide to the big day and beyond. And when we say beyond, we don’t just mean the honeymoon. We want couples to prepare not just for a day’s celebration but also for the lifetime commitment.
What we are sharing below appeared as the very first chapter of the Primer to emphasize the fact that marriage is ultimately more important that a wedding.
So you’ve chosen the person to live with for the rest of your life. But do you know his or her take on certain issues concerning your marriage and future family? Communication is the key to a lasting relationship. Below is a checklist of things you ought to discuss and disclose before proceeding with your marriage plans. If you must, do clip this article and tackle these with your partner at the proper time.
â–¡ PERSONAL - Do I do anything that bugs you? If I can’t change, could you live with that for the rest of our lives?
â–¡ CHILDREN - How many children do you want? Who’s going to be the primary caregiver? How would you feel if we won’t be blessed with any? Are you open to adoption?
â–¡ PRENUP - Do you feel there’s a need for us to have a prenuptial agreement?
â–¡ FINANCES - Who will handle the household budget? Do we remit our full salary in the same pool or will we be allowed to have personal savings and spendings from our own income? Do you have any financial obligations to your family? Do you have debts?
â–¡ DWELLING - Where will we live when we get married? Is living with my family or yours an option? If so, when do we expect to move out?
â–¡ HEALTH - Do we have any health issues each should know of? Are there any health concerns that we could potentially pass to our children or should be prepared for financially?
â–¡ RELIGION (different religion/beliefs) - Do you expect me to convert to your religion? Or would you respect it if I choose to still practice what I believe in? Which religion should our children be brought up to?
â–¡ PRIVACY - Are we allowed to answer calls in each other’s cellphones? Are we free to read each other’s text messages, emails & letters? Can we just open each others’ purse/wallet without prior permission or would it be a big deal?
â–¡ SEX - Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and problems?
â–¡ FUTURE IN-LAWS - Does my family do anything that annoys you? Do you feel they will interfere with our marriage? Will it be alright with you if I keep supporting my family (physically/financially) even if we’re married already?
â–¡ CAREER - Do you expect me to be a full-time housewife? Would you be bothered if my job pays better than yours?
â–¡ CHORES - What household chores do you expect me to do? Are we hiring household help?
â–¡ LIFESTYLE - What do you wish/expect me to changes in my present lifestyle?
â–¡ VICES - Do you have any drinking drug or gambling problems that I should know of? Once pregnant, will you quit smoking?
â–¡ FRIENDS - Who among my friends do you feel is a bad influence? Are we still allowed to go out with them for late night gimmicks when we’re married?
â–¡ MIGRATION - Do you see raising our family here in the Philippines or is migrating to a foreign land in the plans? Would you consider a job abroad and leave your family behind for a better life?
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