(Questions on love and marriage posed to kids aged 5 to 10)

Pure thoughts. That’s what grown-ups say that every child has. Now is it really? The Q & A below are stuff that has been circulating and re-circulating via email for ages. We assume that these were taken from the American television series of the same title hosted by Bill Cosby in the late ‘90s.

It’s fun to read how kids try to answer complicated concepts like love and marriage. It’s amusing how their innocence and candor sometimes hits the mark or totally misses it.

Pure thoughts? Maybe not. Tainted thoughts? Now were talking…

What is marriage?

Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don’t have to give her back to her parents.
~ Eric, age 6

When somebody’s been dating for a while, the boy might propose to the girl. He says to her, ‘I’ll take you for a whole life, or at least until we have kids and get divorced, but you got to do one particular thing for me. Then she says yes, but she’s wondering what the thing is and whether it’s naughty or not. She can’t wait to find out.
~ Anita, age 9

How do people decide who to marry?

You flip a nickel, and heads mean you stay with him, and tails mean you try the next one.
~ Kelly, age 9

My mother says to look for a man who is kind. That’s what I’ll do. I’ll find somebody who’s kinda tall and handsome.
~ Carolyn, age 8

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
~ Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
~ Kirsten, age 10

What should lovers do to stay married?

Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work.
~ Tom, age 7

Don’t forget your wife’s name. That will mess up the love.
~ Roger, age 8

Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash.
~Randy, age 8

One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills.
~ Ava, age 8

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
~ Ricky, age 10

When is the right age to be married?

Eighty-four. Because at that age, you don’t have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom.
~ Carolyn, age 8

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
~ Camille, age 10

No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
~ Freddie, age 6

Once I’m done with kindergarten, I’m going to find me a wife.
~ Bert, age 5

How can a stranger tell if two people are married?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
~ Derrick, age 8

How would the world be different if people didn’t get married?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?
~ Kelvin, age 8

How did your mom and dad meet?

My father was doing some strange chores for my mother. They won’t tell me what kind.
~ Jeremy, age 8

They were at a dance party at a friend’s house. Then they went for a drive, but their car broke down. It was a good thing, because it gave them a chance to find out about their values.
~ Lottie, age 9

What do you think your mom and dad have in common?

Both don’t want any more kids.
~ Lori, age 8

What is falling in love like?

Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life.
~ Roger, age 9

If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don’t want to do it. It takes too long.
~ Leo, age 7

Do you want to be in love?

I’m in favor of love as long as it doesn’t happen when ‘The Simpsons’ is on TV .
~ Anita, age 6

Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I have been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me.
~ Bobby, age 8

I’m not rushing into being in love. I’m finding fourth grade hard enough.
~ Regina, 10

How do you make a person fall in love with you?

Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores.
~ Del, age 6

Don’t do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain’t the same thing as love.
~ Alonzo, age 9

One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it’s something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me.
~ Bart, age 9

Why do love happen between two particular people?

No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That’s why perfume and deodorant are so popular.
~ Jan, age 9

I think you’re supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn’t supposed to be so painful.
~ Harlen, age 8

Is good looks important in love?

If you want to be loved by somebody who isn’t already in your family, it doesn’t hurt to be beautiful.
~ Jeanne, age 8

It isn’t always just how you look. Look at me. I’m handsome like anything and I haven’t got anybody to marry me yet.
~ Gary, age 7

Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time.
~ Christine, age 9

What do most people do on a date?

On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
~ Martin, age 10

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
~ Lynnette, age 8

Many daters just eat pork chops and french fries and talk about love.
~ Craig, age 9

How can you tell if two grown-ups eating dinner at a restaurant are in love?

Just see if the man picks up the check. That’s how you can tell if he’s
in love.
~ John, age 9

Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food.
~ Brad, age 8

It’s love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it’s just like how their hearts are.. on fire.
~ Christine, 9

Why do lovers often hold hands?

They want to make sure their rings don’t fall off because they paid good money for them.~ Dave, age 8

When is it okay to kiss someone?

You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a ring and her own VCR, ’cause she’ll want to have videos of the wedding.
~ Allan, age 10

When they’re rich.
~ Pam, age 7

Never kiss in front of other people. It’s a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. If nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours.
~ Kally, age 9

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.
~ Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.
~ Howard, age 8

It’s never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you. That’s why I stopped doing it.
~ Jean, 10

How does a person learn how to kiss?

You learn it right on the spot when the gooshy feelings get the best of you.
~ Doug, 7

It might help to watch soap operas all day.
~ Carin, 9

What would you do on a first date that was turning sour?

I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure
they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
~ Craig, age 9

What do most people think when they say “I love you?”

The person is thinking: Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he showers at least once a day.
~Michelle, 9

The Great Debate: Is it better to be single or married?

You should ask the people who read Cosmopolitan.
~ Kirsten, age 10

It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them.
~ Anita, age 9

It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I’m just a kid. I don’t need that kind of trouble.
-Will, age 7

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