So you’ve chosen the person to live with for the rest of your life. But do you know his or her take on certain issues concerning your marriage and future family? Below is a checklist of things you ought to discuss and disclose before proceeding with your wedding plans.
PERSONAL
Do I do anything that bugs you? If I can’t change, could you live with that for the rest of our lives?
CHILDREN
How many children do you want? Who’s going to be the primary caregiver? How would you feel if we won’t be blessed with any?
FINANCES
Who will handle the household budget? Will we be allowed to have personal savings and spendings from each other’s salary? Or do we remit our full salary in the same pool? Do you have any financial obligations to your family? Do you have debts?
DWELLING
Where will we live when we get married? Is living with our families an option? If so, when do we expect to move out?
HEALTH
Do we have any health issues each should know of? Are there any health concerns that we could potentially pass to our children or we should prepare for financially?
FAITH (different religions/beliefs)
Do you expect me to convert to your religion? Or would you respect it if I choose to still practice what I believe in? Which religion should our children be brought up to?
PRIVACY
Are we allowed to answer calls in each other’s cellphones? Are we free to read each other’s text messages, emails, & mails?
SEX
Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and problems?
FUTURE IN-LAWS
Does my family do anything that annoys you? Do you feel they will interfere with our marriage? Will it be alright with you if I keep supporting my family (physically/financially) even if already we’re married?
CAREER
Do you expect me to be a full-time housewife? Would you be bothered if my job pays better than yours?
CHORES
What household chores do you expect me to do?
LIFESTYLE
What do you wish/expect me to changes in my present lifestyle?
FRIENDS
Who among my friends do you feel is a bad influence? Are we still allowed to go out with them for late night gimmicks when we’re married?
MIGRATION
Do you see raising our family here in the Philippines or is migrating to a foreign land in the plans? Would you consider a job abroad and leave your family behind for a better life?