(image courtesy of Jayson & Jo Anne Arquiza)
1. Have an ex-politician for a dad who seriously thinks you could follow his footsteps.
2. Discuss this during a family vacation with your siblings and in-laws throwing in their support.
3. When talks get serious, have your wife and mom ask you not to trade a peaceful family life by running for public office.
4. Discuss the situation with your barkada who’ll eventually egg you to run just as well, but for all the wrong reasons.
5. Hear one of them actually suggest a catchy campaign slogan that you would eventually use for the occasion.
6. Have your wife make you promise you’re not running, before she proceeds with any plans for the party.
7. Tell family of your decision. Say something along these lines:
“Hindi ako tatakbo, pero wala na akong magagawa kapag ginusto na ng taongbayan.”
8. In lieu, tell them you’re planning a election-themed birthday party; also tell them about the campaign slogan which will be the central theme.
9. Introduce yourself to people. Have no qualms changing your ‘generic-sounding’ name in facebook with the nickname you’ve always hated as the slogan made good use of it.
10. Announce in your FB stat that the reason you’re changing your name is to make it masa-sounding which the voting public can easily relate to. Include the mandatory *rolleyes* remark at the end.
11. Send feelers to preferred suppliers whom you like to work on the party to already book the date.
12. Get wife pregnant and have her OB-Gyn tell her she’s on house arrest at the start of pregnancy (translation: CALL-OFF THE PARTY).
13. Announce to siblings and in-laws the change in plans but have them say — its worse and more tiring for preggy wife to host lunch or dinner at home, than to scheme a party with reliable suppliers around to help us put things together — afterwards.
14. Bring out the party blueprint yet again.
15. Tell suppliers that the party will push through with only 2 weeks to plan and execute.
16. Book a historic/political venue for the party to go with the election theme.
17. Decide for an after-dinner affair to lessen cost.
18. Choose local street food for the menu to go with the very Pinoy theme.
19. Schedule a studio pictorial for the campaign materials.
20. Grab this photo opportunity to have your picture taken with your favorite ride.
21. Ask friends in FB what would be a good campaign hand sign and actually get very good suggestions.
22. Shoot a video for the campaign ads by simply riding around the neighborhood.
23. Have your videographer ask you to do your mandatory hand sign.
24. Actually bungle up the simple task above; it makes a funny blooper video afterwards.
25. Dub your voiceover narration and try your darnest to sound serious and convincing.
26. Have the wife make an FB event page to invite your friends.
27. Be vague about the event by posting a video teaser that actually looks like a campaign ad.
28. Design a campaign materials with slogans and catchphrases.
29. Make them nice and personalized so your wife and bestfriend would want to use it as profile pic/campaign badge in their respective FB accounts.
30. Have your friends ask for the same campaign badges for themselves to be posted on their own FB walls or as profile pics.
31. Flood your friends’ FB Highlights with all these people posting the same campaign badges.
32. Have friends of friends ask who’s the guy they seem to be supporting.
33. Always reply with “Ordinaryong Pilipino lang po.” whenever you encounter such comments even if the person asking doesn’t know who the heck are you.
34. Have your wife surprise you with a blog entry for your birthday with yet another video teaser and various links to other people’s blogs posting the same clip.
35. Have real politicians hold an important press conference in your chosen venue. Something that would hog the headlines the following day. The renewed hype on the venue would somehow lend credence to your mock campaign.
36. Have personalized button pins ready for all your guests as campaign t-shirts are just too expensive.
37. For added suspense and unpredictability, ask your dad to deliver a speech in the party.
Those are the ingredients for a fun and meaningful birthday party. Here’s proof:
ACKNOWLEDGMENT
Of course, my heartfelt gratitude to all the wonderful suppliers who assisted us in mounting this event:
Events by Clarice for handling the event | 4th Wall for the venue setup and props | Threelogy for the campaign ads and coverage | MetroPhoto for the studio pictorial on such short notice | Josiah’s Catering and Toddler’s Inc. for providing some of the foodcarts | Flaming Olives for the mobile bar | Joy San Gabriel for the cake and personalized topper that resembled me on my scooter doing the ‘Angkas na!’ sign | PhotoLoco for the (photo)booth wisely souvenirs | John Mateos Ong and his ImagineNation team for the covering the event and providing the projector | Sensitivity for providing the needed audio reinforcement
Special mention to a couple of N@Wies/FB friends who gave us some vital campaign ideas: Joanne Figueroa-Yap for suggested the hitchhiker’s thumb for my hand sign which tied in very well with the ‘Angkas na!’ campaign battlecry; and Mylene Ramos-Lado for posting that *rolleyes* smiley on my wall which eventually landed on the ‘official’ seal as displayed in the picture above.
Best of all, thanks to my pregnant wife for spearheading this ‘campaign’. I think she’d make a very fine First Lady. Don’t you guys agree? 
Muling nagpapasalamat,
~ Abet Rana
(the blogger formerly known as John)
